It’s hard for me to even look at those words. The emotions they bring up are unbelievable.
- excitement … at the thought of adding to our family
- Shock and disbelief … at the audacity we have to believe we might get lucky again
- Fear … at the thought of putting ourselves our there, of another pregnancy, of the possibility of further loss
DH was ready to begin trying again for another little one shortly after Kai’s birth. Me, not so much. I would love to have another child at home (if possible) BUT that involves trying again. And I am not feeling so ready for that.
Thankfully it hasn’t been an issue so far. Kai is still breastfeeding and AF has yet to return. But as we slowly cut down his feeds (down to 1 a day now) I know her return is coming.
So I am trying to sort through all the emotions … because really, trying again is just around the corner.