Trying Again

It’s hard for me to even look at those words.  The emotions they bring up are unbelievable.

  • excitement … at the thought of adding to our family
  • Shock and disbelief … at the audacity we have to believe we might get lucky again
  • Fear … at the thought of putting ourselves our there, of another pregnancy, of the possibility of further loss

DH was ready to begin trying again for another little one shortly after Kai’s birth.  Me, not so much.  I would love to have another child at home (if possible) BUT that involves trying again.  And I am not feeling so ready for that.

Thankfully it hasn’t been an issue so far.  Kai is still breastfeeding and AF has yet to return.  But as we slowly cut down his feeds (down to 1 a day now) I know her return is coming.

So I am trying to sort through all the emotions … because really, trying again is just around the corner.

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2 Comments »

  1. Sally said

    I’m right behind you. Still BF here as well so my cycle also isn’t back. I am desperate to try again on one hand, but frozen in fear on the other.
    This is the way of it now though. The innocence is gone and just because we have a live one here, doesn’t change the fact our past is full of loss and fear.
    Thinking of you so much.
    xo

  2. wopchr said

    Avery isn’t even 3 months old yet and DH has already been talking about when we will have our next one. I don’t think he quite understands the stress and toll it takes on our bodies! But I know I don’t want to wait too, too long because I will lose my nerve. I think it will help now that I’ve proven that my body can handle a successful pregnancy to term, ya know?
    Anyway, I’m so happy for you and will be keeping you in my mind 🙂 So many emotions, always, to work through.
    Hugs, friend.

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