Today I Wish …

… that instead of 1, I could answer 3.

… I didn’t feel a twinge of guilt whenever I realize how happy I am.

… running into the MoMs group in town meant saying hello to dear friends, instead of sending me scurrying for the parking lot.

… Kai knew his older sisters.

… that having my little man didn’t mean not having Avery and Sophie.

… that somehow all the wonderful parts of now could be melded with all the wonderful could have beens of yesterday to create a different sort of tomorrow.

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3 Comments »

  1. Kara's Mom said

    I know exactly…I know. I am almost 29 weeks with the twins and not an hour goes by that I wish like hell that Kara were here with us. As grateful as I am for this pregnancy and for these little babies, I miss her with all of my heart. I am asked numerous times per day whether this is my first and I always tell the truth, that I’m missing my firstborn who died 12 days before her due date. I know it freaks people out, but I feel that I can never dishonor her memory by not telling people about my precious first child, in an effort to spare their comfort. I feel guilty when I allow myself to be exicited about this prgnancy, and every moment of my existence, I wish that she were here with us now, ready to celebrate her 2nd birthday in just 15 days.

  2. Jamie said

    I have thought so many times about the babies I lost and if I had them, I wouldn’t have Skeeter. It’s tough to stop thinking about ‘what could have been’ sometimes.

    I understand and am abiding with you.

  3. Sally said

    Yep, I hear you. Most things I seem to wish for will never come true.
    xo

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