Body Pride

Yet another victim of pregnancy and baby loss was pride in my body.  I had never been terribly fond of mine pre-pregnancy, and the girls and Bug behind me, I downright hated it.

It, my body, was what failed.  It let my water break, forcing the girls out early (even though when I think logically I know they would not have made it regardless).  It failed again when Bug didn’t develop right … when I then didn’t miscarry on my own.  

Even throughout my pregnancy with Kai, it’s ability to do what it was supposed to was tenuous.  I was sick, in pain, and always terrified that any day could be the last.

So, it came as a great surprise the other day when I realized that I again have pride in my body.  I don’t hate it anymore. 

I realized this as I struggle to introduce Kai to rice cereal.  At almost 5 months, he is showing signs of being ready, and with him eating a ton, and having serious spitting issues, well, it really could be anytime.

But for some reason I have been hesitating.  It took me awhile to figure it out.  It isn’t that I love breast-feeding itself.  It works for us, no doubt, but I don’t feel that emotional about it either way.

The other day, it finally hit me.  After 40 weeks of growing inside, and almost 5 months outside, my body has managed to grow this.

A happy, healthy, seriously pudgy handsome little man.  My body has managed this … no outside help required.  He has given me back a little bit of respect and pride for what my body can do.

And cereal, well, it will change that.  I know that one day soon I will give in – pull out the box, make him a bowl, and most likely totally make his day.  But it won’t be today, or tomorrow.  Right now I am just basking in him.

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5 Comments »

  1. sally said

    Your body did a brilliant job of growing him, and continues to do so. You should be so proud. He’s beautiful.
    xo

  2. LuckyOnce said

    He’s an adorable little munchkin. You have every right to be proud of what your body was able to accomplish this time around. And with regard to the cereal, don’t worry too much about him making you feel immediately useless… I guarantee that the first time you put that cereal in his mouth (make sure you have a camera handy) he will remind you, with his facial expression of horror and disgust, of just how much he adores the milk that you have been providing for these five months. 🙂

  3. Donna said

    You have every right to be proud of such a beautiful and healthy little boy!

  4. Sally said

    ps: thanks for inspiring my post today.

    xo

  5. Bree said

    Great cheeks! Good to know that it’s possible to stop loathing your body. I have the same issues.

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