Archive for September, 2009

Mr. Kai’s Story


The best way to describe it?  A marathon with a sprint finish.

After days of fairly steady contractions that weren’t going anywhere, I woke up at 4:00 Thursday morning sensing something different.  The contractions, although no closer together than 7-8 minutes, had changed … definitely more intense.

The decision to go to the hospital just before noon was honestly a surprisingly difficult time for me.  I didn’t expect it so soon, but thoughts of the twins rushed in with the thought of the hospital.  Regardless, it quickly became apparent that we needed to go.

Checking in, we were surprised to learn I was dilated to 4 … a nice surprise I must say.  The day was a long one, but with the help of our Doula (absolutely amazing) we made it through fairly well.

By 10 pm I was a 9 1/2 … and still making it with just the gas.  By that point I was exhausted.  I remember vaguely being told at about 10:10 that it wouldn’t be long before I would be ready to push.  Anticipating a long time pushing, I was pretty disappointed.

Shortly thereafter (i.e. before 10:15) I felt this incredible urge and all I heard was “Oh my goodness, it’s the head, get the doctor now”.  Apparently Kai was done waiting 🙂  At 10:30pm, our beautiful baby boy made his arrival … no one could slow him down.  And as a note, he lived up to his “Monkey” name.  He insisted upon kicking the entire labour, no one there could believe how active he remained the whole time.

DH and I were both in awe of the little guy.  While others were oohing and aahing over the hair, big shoulders, and all his “boyness” we were just amazed that he was here, alive and healthy.

We are all doing well, Kai especially.  He is loving eating and sleeping and me, well I am enjoying him immensely and working at healing.  Apparently mommy suffered much more damage than him with his exit!

More pictures and thoughts will soon follow, I promise.  For now though, we are just eating up every minute we have with this little Monkey of ours.


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Monkey is Here!!!!

Name: Kai Benjamin

Date: Thursday, September 24th at 10:30 pm

Weight: 8 pounds 6 ounces

Length: 21 inches long(53 cm)

More details and pictures to follow(this is Heather’s Mom posting…mommy and monkey are sleeping…shhhhh)

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Officially Overcooked


It’s strange.  You spend so much time willing the baby to stay put and grow healthy and then one day all you want is for them to come out. 

It is hard.  I am having to trust that my body knows what it is doing.  That Monkey will come when ready.  Hard to do when all past experience has reinforced the belief that my body doesn’t know what to do.

4 days of contractions later, Monkey is still kicking away inside.  Definitely ready to meet that little right foot that keeps giving me trouble.

Next post will bring news, I promise … just not sure how long it might be before it comes 🙂

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Meaningless Ultimatums

With 4 days until Monkey’s due date, I’ll admit it – I am beyond ready for this babe to arrive.  Not so much due to physical discomfort … really, I just want to be able to hold and touch Monkey … just sit and watch him/her breath.  Give our child their name.

Waiting until the due date seemed reasonable … that is, until people online and in real life starting delivering early.  For some reason, I now firmly believe that Monkey should follow.

And while I wait?  I fill my time giving Monkey meaningless ultimatums.  The current one?  “You have either 4 days or until the last of my tums to emerge or else …”  Ah, starting already.  Empty threats 🙂

Hopefully the next post will include images of someone much cuter than myself, but in the meantime, here is what I hope is my last picture pregnant – taken a couple days ago.


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Remembering and 39 Weeks

A year ago yesterday, we were given the news that “Bug” was not viable – there would be no April baby to make the month less painful.  It’s hard to believe that we are finally where we are at now … short days away from Monkey’s arrival.

The date added a bit to what I have termed my “survivor’s guilt”.  As someone who has made it through pregnancy loss several times over, I am struggling with my feelings as I reach the end of this pregnancy.  Like others at 39 weeks, I am getting uncomfortable – Monkey has dropped, feeling a little like a bowling ball between my legs, little arms and legs poke me from all sides, and none of my clothes still fit.  I am ready to be done this pregnancy … and for that, I feel guilty.  I know I should just be thankful for every single moment of it, but these days it is a bit tough.

Additionally, I realized that where others at this point of pregnancies begin chanting “there’s a baby at the end … it will be worth it”, I am still having trouble believing that.  In some ways, I think it makes the end of a pregnancy that much tougher.  My head knows the odds are definitely in our favour right now, and I continue to work on that positive thinking … BUT, I still know what can happen.  Monkey is still not a certainty, just a very large, wiggly hope in my belly.

Honestly, Monkey’s birthday can’t come fast enough right now.  I can’t wait to hold this little bundle – I so desperately want the chance to discover his/her personality, look into the eyes I have been dreaming of, smell the top of a misshapen head after birth.  Each day I wake up hoping that maybe today will be the day that Monkey arrives … one of them soon will have to be 🙂

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Because Size Doesn’t Always Matter

I’m back … at least I think.  Lots of thoughts floating around this head.

But before I do, a bit of comic relief. 


That blanket?  It belongs to the dog … normally she is curled up in a pile of blanket and pillow, happily cozy with both.

What’s stopping her?  A six pound ball of fluff.  What can I say?  It made me laugh today, that’s for sure.

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Doing What I Need To Do

Already dealing with a lot of full term jitters, this week’s news of new baby death in the blog-o-sphere shook me to the core.  At 37 1/2 weeks along, I am probably the most nervous I have been since sometime in the late first trimester.

Easiest way to explain it?  If Monkey was a teen, there would be much eye rolling and “Mooooom, I’m fine” statements being thrown out there as I prod my belly regularly just to feel the small jabs back.

Physically, everything is great.  I am still feeling remarkably good, Monkey is head down and fattening up nicely ;), and at today’s appointment I found out I am Strep B negative (YEAH), and that Monkey has officially dropped (nothing quite as unnerving as the doctor finding a heartbeat in your crotch region!)

Emotionally, I am a bit more fragile.  I will be taking a step back from the computer – and immersing myself a bit more in the world where odds are in your favour, where babies come home healthy, where full-term mamas don’t wonder “What if?”.

Not sure how long I will step back for … possibly until Monkey is born.  Don’t worry, you will definitely hear that news once it happens … but I may be quiet until then.   We will see.  In the meantime, I will be doing what I need to do to get to that point.

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