My Girls, My Heart

For months I have wanted to type out Avery and Sophie’s story, get it down on paper.  But I haven’t … knowing how much energy and emotion it would take, I have kept it in.  I think I am finally at a place though where I am ready to share it.  And so it begins …

Finding Out: Part I

When we found out we were pregnant in August 2007 we were ecstatic.  Our first pregnancy, we were not tagged as high risk so decided to pursue working with midwives for the pregnancy.  I spent the first trimester incredibly ill, and we could not have been happier to see the end of it in mid-September.  We could finally breathe a sigh of relief – our baby was fairly safe.

We excitedly shared the news with friends and family and at 14 weeks we heard a heartbeat at our midwife appointment.  I remember our celebration dinner that night – I didn’t eat much as I was still dealing with extreme nausea, but we were thrilled none-the-less.  The only real concern at this point was my lack of weight gain, in fact I was still losing weight at this point.

At 16 weeks my sister-in-law and myself went to visit my sister in Texas.  I remember it as the first week I could actually eat again.  When we went down early in the week, my belly was just starting to show, nothing that anyone really noticed though.  Throughout the week, the three of us watched in amusement (on their part) and alarm (on my part) as my belly grew each day … seriously, you could practically watch it grow.

Although we joked about twins, we didn’t seriously consider it.  There had only been one heartbeat at 14 weeks after all, and there was not a risk of twins in the family.  Everyone kept telling me not to worry.  After all, I was terribly thin and had only just started to really eat again. 

I continued to brush it off as nothing, even when I began to get questions about my due date on the trip home at the end of the week.  I knew this was a little strange for only 17 weeks along, but again, didn’t think about it too much.  That said, I was definitely looking forward to our ultrasound the next week! 

That Thursday, my husband and I headed into town for my 18 week scan.  Although excited, I was terribly nervous, knowing all the things that could still go wrong.  I remember getting myself onto the bed, in pain as I tried to lay flat.  The ultrasound tech began, slathering the cool gel on my now very large belly. 

Within a couple minutes she turned the screen towards me, mentioning she wanted to show something to me.  I remember being thrilled at a “sneak peek”.  I immediately saw a baby, and she showed me the basics.  As she began to move the wand away, I wondered where she was going.  The words “and this is your other baby” completely stunned me.  I burst into tears, simply from the shock, joy, and relief (finally, I wasn’t huge anymore :)).

I felt horrible as my husband was ushered into the room.  He saw my tears and started to panic a little, thinking something was very wrong.  His smile when he saw the two babies on the screen was amazing, I will remember that forever.  All he felt was pride and joy … As my scan continued he took himself to a local coffee shop for a celebratory coffee.

I wish now I had known more then – questions to ask, things to look for.  But I was naive and in shock, I can honestly remember very little of the actual scan.  I regret not paying more attention now, I wish I would have absorbed every little detail of their bodies, their hearts beating, their movements.  But the tech mentioned how this would be the first of many scans, and I believed her … I spent the ultrasound just staring at TWO.

We walked away from the appointment in awe of our news, clutching our set of ultrasound pictures that clearly showed both our babies.  We spent the day sharing the news with family and friends.  We had the goofiest grins that would not leave.  Although our minds were reeling with the news, we were so unbelievably happy … the next couple days were honestly some of the happiest of my life.

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2 Comments »

  1. Carly said

    “And here’s your other baby”

    I’m bawling, Oh Heather. I can only imagine the excitement you must have felt. I long for the day when I can read your blog and read that you are home from hospital with a baby in your arms. You are telling their story beautifully. I think it is wise that you have not told the whole story in one post. I did that and made myself very ill, for around 2 weeks. Take it slowy Heather. x

    I never put any weight on with Christian, infact I just kept losing weight, he was dying and that was making my body very ill too. Between having Scarlett and then having Christian I lost 32 kilos.

    Thank you for sharing some of their story with us x

  2. Catherine said

    Thank you so much for sharing Avery and Sophie’s story. I am crying my eyes out reading it and my heart breaks for you and your husband. Your girls were and are so loved and so cherished. I believe that they knew that.

    I also had a twin girl pregnancy that did not end well and this has brought back so many memories of my own 12 week scan. I also now feel that I was so naive and wish that I could remember more about the scan itself. I also wish that I had known more and had asked more questions. You have articulated it all so beautifully.

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