Is it the New Year Yet?

I hate what losing babies has done to me.

The countdown has started … in fact, it is almost over.  In two days we head to our hometown for our first of two trips in December to celebrate Christmas.

And I am dreading it.

I used to love this holiday, used to love seeing everyone, sharing time with family, heading to church for advent and Christmas Eve.

Now all I am thinking about it making it through visits with two friends with girls the same age that Avery and Sophie would have been, one visit with family members with a baby I haven’t yet met, and all the endless pretending to be enjoying the holiday when it feels so empty.

I wish I could magically make the calendar turn to 2009 – maybe, just maybe it will be better than the last two calendar years have been.

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1 Comment »

  1. carly said

    I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you Heather. I am sending you all my love. Praying that you find some beauty in this Christmas and that it is very gentle on you.

    Much Love

    Carly x

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