Stronger Than I Think

I don’t consider myself strong.  After losing the girls, I no longer have delusions of my super-human powers or ability to let things roll off on me – leaving me unscathed and unscarred. That said, many things that didn’t used to faze me are now quite daunting, knowing that many strange and unusual things can throw me over the edge into a weeping ball of woman.

Last night, I surpised myself.  I realized that slowly I am becoming stronger again, able to face things I couldn’t have a year ago, six months ago, heck even a couple months ago.

It sounds small, but our printer has been broken for several days.  This really affects me as I work from home.  Last night I got up the courage to use the online help chat and after 1 1/2 hours, my printer was agin working.

Simple? Yes.  But it is exactly these sorts of things that used to do me in. A kink in the schedule, something I couldn’t fix on my own … for over a year things like this would be the end of me.

Slowly I am becoming stronger again.  Changed forever? Most definitely.  Quicker to cry, feel sorrow, and retreat to a safe place?  For sure.  But also, finally, getting to the place where I can stand up to minor adversity without falling over.  Thank goodness.

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2 Comments »

  1. Carly said

    Heather,

    This is wonderful, the fact that you have noticed it as well is so good.

    Wishing you lots of strength!

    Love Carly x

  2. mkwewer said

    It’s true, isn’t it? People don’t know how hard it is to function. I mean I look like I am functioning to them but you throw one little wrench into my day and I am mess. I’m glad you are feeling stronger….

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