One, Two and Forever

One year ago today we had our first ultrasound for our first pregnancy.  Although very nervous, we were thrilled.

Two little squirmy bodies greeted us on the screen.  Shock, joy, and relief best described that day.  We didn’t know until that day that we were carrying twins, but were overjoyed at the news.  I felt extreme relief as I went from having a “huge” belly with one to actually carrying fairly small for two. 

Forever our lives were changed that day. 

I sit, trying to work.  Images of my belly, screen shots of the girls, and memories of sharing our news crowd out all thoughts of newsletters, phone calls, and business related tasks. 

Tears roll down my face.

Memories flood back of Hallowe’en last year.  The ultrasound room, our families faces as we showed them a little heel directly by a little head, our frantic calculations of how we were going to make two work.

I don’t know how I will hand out candy at the door this year.  Too many conversations with neighbours last year crowd into my thoughts. 

How the year has changed us.  November 12 looms ahead … I find it hard to breathe.

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3 Comments »

  1. Carly said

    Heather,

    I can only imagine how tonight is going for you. I pray that it isn’t as hard as you thought it would be. Are you going to do something special on November 12th? There are so many beautiful things you could do and it may help your own heart too.

    Thinking of you

    Carly x

  2. dsloterbeek said

    just wanted to let you know I appreciate your honesty in your posts. I read several of them when I visited today, I could relate to many of them. I’m sorry to hear of your losses, both the girls and the baby you were looking foreward to and longing for. I also understand the frustration with waiting to get pregnant again. It was just over a year after our son was stillborn that I finally found out we were pregnant. It seemed like forever.

  3. Kristi said

    Praying for you as you face the difficult time ahead!!

    (((HUGS)))

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