A Bit of Everything

I think I must be masochistic.  I find myself obsessively checking the blogs of friends about to give birth, even though I know as soon as there is news I will bawl my eyes out (as evidenced by the 2 in the last week who have already had there babies).

Seriously, you would think I would at least know to avoid their blogs right now but no, at least twice a day I visit.  <sigh> must gain self-control.

On to other things.  Physically I am doing wonderful after the D&C.  Emotionally, still a little numb.  We are definitely moving forward, but at least a couple times a day I break down thinking about the “what could have been”.

Mostly, I am now dreading the twins’ birth/death day anniversary coming up in November.  I didn’t imagine a year ago that I would have to face it without being pregnant again …


1 Comment »

  1. mkwewer said

    I know, it’s like you KNOW better but you want to torture yourself. My hubby best friend was due a month before the twins were due and I would look on their MySpace to see if they had the baby (knowing that hubby would not tell me) and when the pictures were posted, I lost it. I can’t decide if it’s because I wanted to know that babies do get born alive or what….feel better.

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