It’s Done … and Bedside Manners 101

I finally got in for the D&C yesterday and overall, it was a giant relief.  To be on edge waiting all week was draining, very draining.  It feels like we can now finally begin to move through the process, instead of being stalled in the shock of another loss.

In one of my comments (again, thank you so much for all the support, it has meant so much to me the last week), someone mentioned Bedside Manners 101, and the need for medical staff to go through something like that.  I have another one for the books …

While waiting in recovery, I was given several sheets to bring home with me.  One was titled “The Future”.  I was floored by the next line – “What to Expect After Your Abortion”.  The term was used throughout the rest of the sheet. 

I understand that is the clinical term for what I went through, but really, would it be so hard to have one sheet where the wording is changed for those who have experienced a loss, those who have not made the choice to terminate?

I tried to voice my concerns to the nurses, not quite sure how it went.  The anesthetic was definitely still strong and our conversation was punctuated by inappropriate anesthetic-induced giggling on my end.  I hope she still understood and maybe, just maybe they will change it for the next time.



  1. noswimmers said

    WOW…that’s incredibly insensitive. There’s no reason they can’t have a separate sheet for those experiencing loss. If you’re feeling up to it, a letter (or even email) to the hospital Board Chair might help. I work with docs every day…they need these things spelled out VERY CLEARLY…they don’t understand most of the emotional stuff.
    I’m so sorry, again…thinking about you,

  2. Carly said

    That is disgraceful, I am disgusted that they gave you that information. I agree with Mandy, when or if you feel up to it let them no how insensitive that is.

    I hope you are feeling better now Heather.

    Thinking of you

    Carly x

  3. mkwewer said

    This happened to me when I lost Baby A. We had a social worker at CHOP that kept referring to it as an “abortion” because in her mind, it was an elective procedure (read my blog for more details, it was not elective but necessary to save Baby B or they would have both died – of course, Baby B died a month later but…). I got up, walking out to the midwife and said, “if you do not get that woman out of my face, you best call a gurney because she’s going to the ER…” The midwife was mortified and the social worker was forced to send me a written apology. I am so sorry for you and this very real loss.

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