Smooth Hair

As I was running out the door this morning, I took one last look at myself and noticed that my hair was completely smooth – even in my part.  You would think this would make me happy but it didn’t.  Instead, I cried.

As I stared in the mirror it hit me – Avery and Sophie have been gone for over 7 months.  Shortly after losing them I lost a ton of hair.  As it grew back in, I acquired a fuzzy halo of hair that refused to lie down all over my head.  

I took to wearing it curly to hide the short hairs.  I hated them, and the fact that they were a constant reminder of what I lost.

Today I realized that as much as I hated them, I needed them.  They reminded me that the girls were real, for 20 weeks I was their home, they lived and they died.  My hair is now long enough to lay back down, one of my last physical reminders has been taken away.

I still miss you babies.

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